You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i dont even know how to be here
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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