FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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