i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my poor anus
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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