I never want to see another naked old woman again.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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