Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
