Kiss
Puke
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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