We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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