apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize