White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
