yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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