well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
