Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
