Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
