hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
