Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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