mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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