I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
