So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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