I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize