If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
