8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
