new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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