I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
