Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
