Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
