I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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