so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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