thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
