My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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