Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
