Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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