i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize