I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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