How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
