I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
