but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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