I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
