Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my sisters under your porch take her home
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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