will power is for people who don't want to get laid
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
