And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
