Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
