Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
