im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize