If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
