she looked like the before picture.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
