i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
smell my finger.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
