dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can you bring me the toilet please
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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