very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i think my cat just said my name.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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