Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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