He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
