You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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