So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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