I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
