She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
