Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
