watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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