i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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