i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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