I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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