Me too!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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