He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
