His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
