My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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