i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize