Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
