If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
