nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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