margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Bring me that man meat
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