So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We got so high we made milksteak
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
