how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
