you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
